Saturday, October 16, 2010

When my dad flirted with my mom

For very many years this subject was hurtful.

When my parents got divorced I was only 15 and, to me, it seemed to have been out of the blue. My father cheated on my mother and she found out. Turns out they had been done with each other for years, but none wanted to leave. Once it all surfaced, my mom was enraged, my brother, who knew it all, relieved and I, I was heartbroken.

They were together for 20 years. They seemed made for each other. My dad is loud and funny, contrasting with my mom, who is serious and utterly elegant. They were the best dancing couple I have ever seen. I thought they were perfect, but nothing is. I learned that with time. And so they broke up and my mother wanted him to exist in a different dimension, to say the least. I don't blame her. My brother and I stayed with her and my dad ended up moving in with this other woman. We've never wanted to meet her.
It's been over a decade and all things said and done, forgiven but not forgotten, my parents get along. For the sanity of all parts involved, they can pacifically coexist. My mom learned how to tolerate him and he understood the great pain he caused us all. He's apologized to me after a big night of accusations, revelations and, most of all, tears.

My father deeply failed as a husband, but he never left us. We could and still can always count on him.

Just a couple days ago he went over to talk to my mom and presented her with plane tickets to come visit me. It's a great gift for both my mom and I - specially I. And after she received the gift and thanked him, he said 'if you're up for it, we could still work things out.' It isn't the first time he brings that up, but her answer was the same. She said 'it would never happen.' He then moved on to leave her house and when waiting for the elevator with my brother, he shared his feelings and 'patch attempt' with him. He then - and now this was out of the blue - ran back in the house, hugged my mom and kissed her, while she screamed for my brother, who wanted none of it. After the kiss, he ran back, got in the elevator and took off, just like that.

We all know they won't get back together - my mom would never take him back. But this makes up for so much of what she once felt. And I explain. I was there when my mom was rejected. She felt dismissed and ashamed of herself, like she had any fault in being cheated on. I saw my mother's self-esteem sink like a balloon filled with sand. And to hear her say she's glad to find out she's not as worthless as she thought, made me rejoice. In her own words 'the kiss should've never happened, but did me a great good, after this over a decade period. I'm happy he thinks of me, even though I don't think of him that way.'

It was stolen, sudden, and, most of all, it's over. But we all shared a good laugh and still are amazed to how things come around in life. You'd never guess.


  1. Amiga, dois ótimos textos! Vou adorar te acompanhar por aqui também :*

  2. Que otimo! Fico felicissima com a sua companhia! Beijos!

  3. Life is crazy! You never know what happens next! hehehehe

  4. Very true, Nanda... Who would've ever thought!