Monday, December 20, 2010

My hard times in HS - part 1

When I was still in Middle School I was very popular. I had the most friends, some of the best grades, knew all the teachers and all this kind of stuff some kids effortlessly have. Kinda like some movie you'd see with some teenage drama (I love those, by the way.)

Then, when High School started, all my friends left our little school and moved on to bigger 1000's+ people institutions. I considered (my parents did) moving as well, but the teachers knew me, right? I had good grades and the school, even small, had a great way of teaching. We decided I'd stay.

Shortly after that decision was made I regretted staying behind. My friends were gone, the teachers were all new to me and the Math wasn't Middle School anymore, obviously. And since I was advanced in studying English at a private English School, I had to be separated from the other kids when taking an English test because everyone wanted to copy from me. That caused me to have even less friends. Somehow I believe it fell on me, the "not-sharing-knowledge" burden. It didn't matter if I was willing to let them copy, the teacher wasn't, and I was to be punished for it.

That was when I started being bullied. I was teased from my hair to my backpack to my handwriting. That was also when I started walking down the road of self-defense and self-sufficient image construction. I was 11.

My parents had no idea. I hid it all from them, from teachers, friends, everyone, until I started getting threatening phone calls at home. Random people cursing, accusing me of things I hadn't done and saying they'd beat me up. I think I know who was behind that, but not for sure. I brushed it off but my mom didn't. I just said there was nothing to say about it. "They're jealous" was my response.

Then my things started disappearing. I was being robbed almost everyday. Money, food, pencils, you name it. I started not leaving the classroom during intervals and breaks. I'd sit on my chair all day. If I had to use the restroom I'd ask some kids to watch my stuff. Now that I think about it, it was very silly of me to face it all by myself. I shouldn't have put up with all this, but I was making myself strong.

Later that year my mom found a threatening note in my bag. I had never seen it. It said words I can't repeat here (and there's no need for that either.) My mom decided not to take my nonchalant behavior anymore and at the end of the school year I got transferred to my best friend's HUGE school.

Before that, I passed all my finals and received a gold medal for being the first and only student in that entire grade to pass onto the next grade. That felt good but it didn't last long.

This text is part 1 of 2. Please read part 2 here.


  1. Creeeedo, Laine!
    Que história mais horrorosa e triste! :(

    Essa historia de guardar tudo pra si, tb sou assim. Só descobriram que eu estava em depressão quando a coisa já tava feia demais... :( Mas mãe é tudibom mesmo, né?


  2. Incrivel como eu passei muitos anos sem pensar nisso e escrever sobre traz tudo a tona, ne? Ainda bem que ja superei isso tudo! Beijos!

  3. Ai amiga, te acho tão pouco revoltada! Pq tu não virasse metaleira, gótica, ou coisas assim d quem é traumatizado? Eu virei, HAHAHHAHA
    Te amo!

  4. Amiga, nao sabia que esse profile era teu!! Hahahah! Eu tive essa fase tambem, mas acho que muito mais depressao e tristeza do que raiva ou revolta. Cada um e de um jeito, ne? Hoje ainda luto contra isso! Beijos!

  5. Traz a tona sim. Mas eu acho bom. Hoje temos outra maturidade pra olhar e pensar sobre os acontecimentos! É bom colocar essa amargura, solidão e medo sentidos pra fora! Encontrar gente que se identifica tb... :)

    Fica bem! =*

  6. E verdade, Nanda! Eu nao sabia que essa epoca da minha vida tinha formado tanto da minha personalidade. Hoje sou grata! E aquelas pessoas ruins sairam da minha vida naquele mesmo ano. Hoje sou muito mais seleta! Escolho gente que nem tu! Hahahah! Beijos, querida!

  7. Aê!
    Eu tb ando bem seletiva... mas a gente sempre encontra gratas surpresas por aí! ;))